"Cloudy, with a Chance of ..."

The morning of May 2nd was probably one of the most unnerving mornings I had had in a while. I remember waking up and being drained of thought for a few minutes. I couldn't remember when I had fallen asleep. I couldn't remember what had last happened in the book I had fallen asleep reading--or if I had even been reading at all. And I couldn't remember what had happened the previous day. It took a moment for the sack of bricks to hit me. And the second it did, it felt like my heart skipped a beat all together.

I had kicked down a big barrier yesterday. And today, I was going to have to face the opposing side without it.

Cue the "oh crap" chorus.

Breakfast didn't exactly help, much. I must have been even the slightest off key because Bruce suddenly brought down the "what's wrong?" hammer. I'm not sure how I managed to weasel out with a simple "nothing, I'm just tired"...maybe he just wasn't in the mood to argue with me over anything. Or maybe he just didn't have the energy to question me back. I don't know. Either way, that was weight enough off my shoulders.

...Roy threw it right back on when he was the one who answered the door instead of Dinah.

It threw me off guard. Of course. That's probably what he wanted to do. I probably looked like a complete idiot standing there with my mouth open while Gar threw his arms up and expressed his excitement that Roy had, well, bothered answering the door.

...'bothered'....

The visit was the same, but different, all at once. The tension that had always seemed to float around the room was still there, but it wasn't anything like it had been. Instead of constantly staring off into space while Gar was talking, sometimes Roy would look at us. At me. Then resume staring off. It was always just a turn of the eyes; he never moved or tilted his head. He seemed more focused instead of blatantly ignoring us. I don't know which I preferred more.

As the day wrapped up, the usual speaking points remained; Gar did all the talking while Roy and I remained silent as mice. It wasn't until Gar closed up his story and saluted Roy a good day as we stood to make our exit that Harper suddenly turned his head, looking in my direction but not making eye contact.

He bluntly asked if I meant what I said yesterday. It took a second, but I nodded and said that I had. He stared at me for another moment before snorting and looking away. As if bringing the subject back up hadn't made me go tense enough; I immediately fired a sharp "what?" at him. He shortly replied "just leave", and before I could say anything back, Gar had my arm and was dragging me for the door. ...probably for the best.

...but it continued to eat at me on the drive home. I couldn't stop analyzing the scene in my head, trying to remember every movement and twitch of an expression on his face when he had received my answer. What the heck did that head-shake mean? ...I didn't expect him to believe me, I guess, but. I don't know. It was getting under my skin. To the point that I found myself asking Gar what he thought about it. Gar already seemed to have a better grasp on this entire situation than I did. I wonder if that's just him and his people talents or the simple fact that he's got some animalistic 6th sense that was part of his power-package deal.

Either way, I still got the "obviously" look after I asked him.

"You didn't change anything today, Casper," he replied simply. "Yeah, you said you were sorry yesterday. And I know that's a big step for you and all, but...he needs more than that. You didn't treat him any different. You didn't talk to him--dude, you hardly even looked at him. ...I thought you of all people would know that you can't just go around saying things...y'gotta do them, too..."

...needless to say, that more or less shut me up for the rest of the drive home.

When Gar's right, he ...couldn't be more right. Sometimes it can be unsettling. Especially when you're resistant to what is...well, right. ...this process was going to have to be a two person job. Roy wasn't going to get any better if I didn't start contributing more than the minimum. His faith in anyone--let alone himself--had pretty much taken a nose dive. ...tomorrow was a new day and another chance to try turning that around...for real, this time...