I can't believe this

I can't. No, I just....I can't. I can't believe this, I have never been so...--outright dumbfounded. Ever. Not just with someone else, but, with myself. What am I even thinking right now?

...ugh. I guess I need to explain not only what's going on, but what's been going on, don't I? Since I haven't updated you guys in nearly a month's time. Alright, less than, but still.

About two nights ago, Gar and I were out on a patrol together, which we don't get to do often anymore. We were just about to wrap it up for dawn, when Gar stopped me and pointed out something--or rather someone--in an alley just below us. We inspected it further only to discover...it was Roy. You're probably wondering why this is such a big deal. WELL.

For starters, I haven't been mentioning this because I haven't found it important since--you know--we're super heroes and we get injured fairly often and frankly, it hasn't COMPLETELY been my concern. But. Roy's been in and out of the hospital off and on for a while. I think he's been in...three times? Sure. Not for very long, but, always immediate and without warning. I'd like to think he's just being reckless--especially with his attitude lately. ....but.

He's addicted to heroin.

...YEAH. I couldn't believe it. I really just...wow. I STILL don't have any words that could comprehend what was--is--going through my brain right now. Does he realize what he's doing?! Not only is it illegal, but, hello! It's one of the most addictive drugs out there, extremely hard to get out of your system, and DANGEROUS. What was he thinking?

That's just it, though. Clearly, he wasn't.

I could have just left him there in that alley. Heck, Ollie did. Oliver's the reason he was IN that alley--Ollie threw him out of the house. Roy even had a black eye from where Ollie punched him...they must have had some fight. ...and I almost did leave him out there. But, Gar was conveniently with me. ...and, Gar wouldn't leave him back there. When I started to walk away, he argued with me, pleaded to go back for Roy and help him. I didn't want to. Roy didn't want my help--he made it rather clear--and I didn't mind not doing him a favor. ...but then Gar said something that ...stopped me in my tracks.

"We've already lost Tara and Jason, Casper!"

...for a moment, I couldn't believe he brought up Jason's name in Roy's defense...especially with how Roy's been and how things have been with our family regarding Jason. ...but ...he continued to say that if Ollie's not going to help him, then who is? ...and he's not ready to lose another Titan--another friend. Especially to something as dumb as drugs. .....

....and ...as usual...he's right. ...I couldn't leave Roy back there in that alley. Not after that. As much as I hated having to walk back to him. Having to ...promise him that I was going to help him fight this battle.

Gar and I got Roy to Dinah's apartment. He wasn't thrilled, but, Dinah took him in with open arms. I'm remaining firm to my promise, and, I'll be visiting him on and off with Gar to help him through this little "intervention" of ours. I'm not thrilled about this--I think I am as much as Roy is--, but ...I guess I don't really have a choice anymore.

I really don't want to have to go to another funeral.